Salvation and Damnation...

You live the life of a saint and at the end of it experience the divine rapture of heaven. Every fiber of your soul hums along with some paradisical rhythm. Isn't heaven beautiful?

But...such is the beauty of hell that even being in the throes of pain, you can glimpse heaven. Long before the world was born, joy and pain formed some magical bond that survives to this day. Pain brings tears to your eyes and so does extreme happiness. It doesn't matter whether you are completely consumed by pain or happiness, there is a similarity between the two -a feeling of sudden awareness of self, a great explosion of emotion, an acute feeling of being utterly and thoroughly alive...Your body starts to shake as if the intensity of the feeling is so great that it can no longer contain the experience.

All the world seems to melt away except for you and the source of your joy/pain.

Such is the beauty of hell that it is only an alternate dimension of heaven. They are linked somewhere, perhaps by some stormy wormhole but they are linked. Many have discovered this secret tunnel between the two. Somewhere between paradise and hades, lies that feeling...

That feeling of being truly alive...the most powerful feeling that exists.

But such is the tragic beauty of hell that it is a lot more generous with its pain than heaven is with its ecstasy. It is so much easier to experience that feeling through pain than through happiness. After all what remains in this world that could possible generate a tide of happiness that massive? Floods of pain are unleashed all the time, but happiness?

And so, seekers of that intense feeling become seekers of pain. They don't even realise it. Pain has become like a drug. Like a creature left in the dark for too long, they are addicted to it. Happiness is fleeting and sporadic. Why should they invest their passion in happiness?

Happiness is a brief blossom while pain is a faithful lover. So which one would people seek?

Alas!! In their hurry to devote themselves to pain, people forget how wonderful happiness is...pain might make you feel alive but it destroys you piece by piece, it devours your inner world. Happiness might be elusive but it lifts you up and restores the peace you need to stay sane.

Hell heaven...heaven hell...both lead you to a similar place. It depends on you, which dimension you'd rather travel in to get there.

A story of desolation...

Sometimes the fire in the diamond burns low...

There are those days when the world is not full of oppurtunities and possibilities. Some days, broken hopes and dusty dreams are all you have. With a handful of your shattered self, you look out the window and wait for the next day. The next day is the only ray of light you can see. You nestle your head in the lap of darkness and try and seek comfort.

Lying in your bed, you ache all over but you don't want to get up and get out. You are unhappy but even your tears ellude you...you don't even get the soothing satisfaction of crying.

There doesn't always have to be a reason. Sometimes, little drops of sorrow perculate your skin and keep collecting in a little vessel in your body. One day, the vessel just gets a little too full and a dark river washes over mind and senses. The reason? You can't remember the pictures floating around in each of those lil drops...so, what can you say when someone asks you what's wrong?

Some days are just a little cloudier than the others, that's all.

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World AIDS Day...