Night time ponderings about casual things...

A human being's will to survive amazes me all the time. Life might be on the brink of becoming an absolute ultimate nightmare but they still have the will to live on. Or do they?

Here is where a very important question arises. Is it really the strength to live on or is it cowardice at the thought of death? When a person commits suicide, we hear so many comments about him/her. Things like "Oh, I guess s/he just couldn't take it anymore" or "I guess she was too weak to carry on". Why do people think this way? Do they have any idea how much guts it requires to take that final step and kill yourself?

Not knowing what lies beyond that barrier. Not knowing what's going to happen to you. Not knowing whether the place you're going to is actually going to be better than the place you're leaving behind. It might turn out to be worse for all we know. Does it not require guts to forget all this for a moment and still go ahead and take your own life?

What about the cowards who die a thousand deaths everyday in their miserable lives? They think about dying everyday but just can't do it. They live with the nauseating feeling of being thoroughly incapable. Incapable of living a happy life and even incapable of seeking peace in death.

I guess it all comes down to individual perception. So what is it finally? What are we afraid of? What is the fear? The fear of staying alive and facing a difficult life or the fear of dying and not knowing what's going to happen after that?

Fear is like a disease. It cripples us any which way it works. Imagine throwing away a whole life for fear of facing problems? Imagine dying with the last thought of your own miserable impotence in your head.

Or imgaine living with the reminder of your own cowardly fear of death everyday of your life? Which situation is worse? And more importantly, which fear finally gives in? Because you know...that's what makes all the difference between life and death.